EEK!!

I pulled my first gray hair today - just in time for the holidays - Merry Christmas to me!!

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I love all the little funny things that my kids say . . . Luke needed a "bambaid" (band-aid) for his finger and Caleb wanted some "ogert" (yogurt) for breakfast.  Haylee used to say she was "foi" (4) and in kindergarten everyone in Maddie's class had the last name "Bullard".   All too soon they think they know everything.

Pigs Are Flying

I've done it!  Yep, I've joined the exercise club.  I am on day 4 in my new quest of getting my body back and getting back in shape.  I'm trying all sorts of workouts, but mostly including walking/running.  I've spent 2 days at the church walking the parking lot and gym, 1 day on the high school track, and today spent my first day in the gym.  It's been 8 years since I set foot in a gym and it was great to get back! 

Working out does have it's drawbacks though.  I must have been extra tired last night because when I was helping Haylee with her hair this morning she pointed something out on my pjs and I thought I had lost a button - then I realized they were just on inside out - oops!

A Conversation With Maddie -

Me: Sit down so I can braid your bangs.

Maddie: But I don't want them braided.

Me: You can't have your hair hanging in your eyes.  I thought you wanted to grow your bangs out.

Maddie: Seriously, is this what you want to do to them everyday?  Will it look okay with my hair curled?

Haylee: Yeah, Janie does it all the time.

Me: That's where I got the idea to braid your bangs.

Maddie: Really?  Okay then.

Thanks goodness for cool aunts like Janie!

Am I really that old?

Yesterday I was at the distribution center with mom and GeNille. GeNille and I were waiting for mom to finish buying her stuff and were just chatting (I had Paisley with me, too) and a woman asked how old she was. I told her she was almost 3 months and then she asked if she was my granddaughter - can you believe it?! I was horrified!!

I guess when Paisley is a teenager and thinks I am ancient anyway, I can back up her claims by telling her I was mistaken for her grandmother when she was 3 months old. How terrible!!

Maybe I should be looking into the cost of a facelift - or maybe someone has an alternative suggestion that won't be quite so expensive.

I'm still alive - barely

If any of you happen to see me wandering around in the same clothes I have been wearing for a week and I can't remember the last time I got a shower - well, this is why: The girls were at school, David had left for work, I had gotten Paisley to sleep, and the boys were playing in their room. I foolishly believed that I could get a quick shower - I closed the door to the bedroom where Paisley was sleeping and told the boys to stay out and leave her alone - I wasn't going to be long. As I was getting ready to get in, I could hear Caleb getting into something he shouldn't, and had to parade into their room in my birthday suit to get him out of it. I hurried back into the shower and took what I thought was a quick one. When I turned off the water I could hear Paisley crying and figured the door to the bedroom she had been sleeping in was open. I could also hear changes in her crying and knew that she wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I don't know which one of them got her out of the cradle, but I walked into their room and Caleb was laying on the floor with Paisley across his chest, trying to calm her down, but holding her face too close and she was freaking out. I also found out later that Luke had been carrying her around and "accidentally" dropped her on the floor. She is fine, no marks at all, but I think that is the end of my showering until she is at least 6 months old - sorry in advance to those who I run into!!

I can't believe that she is already 2 months old and is tipping the scales at over 10 lbs. The kids all love her! Haylee is stepping in as a second mother - she is really good with Paisley and is such a help wherever she is needed when I'm trying to balance the other things going on. Maddie is trying really hard to get the swing of things and helps where she can too. Luke is the most patient 4 year old I've ever seen with a baby. He amazes me when Paisley is crying in his ear and he tries to calm her - he does a great job and has been able to accomplish this several times and has even got her to sleep. Caleb loves her so much and is always kissing on her, but doesn't realize that she can't rough-house with him yet. He is always asking "Can I hold Paiswey?"

I think she has forgotten that she is not in the womb anymore - this is her favorite position to fall asleep in. We have tried to move her, and she wakes up and starts crying and won't settle down again until she gets back in this position. I hope she keeps her flexibility - I'm not sure where she got it from because neither David or I are very flexible.

My niece brought these funny glasses and we got these great pictures of Caleb and Paisley. Caleb is asleep - I don't know if he would have kept them on otherwise.

We got the news last week that David will be changing schedules again. We are so excited that he will be on a normal shift after 7 years of graves and swing and 1 year of days having to work weekends. He starts his new shift on Oct. 4 - he will be working Tues - Sat from 6 am to 2:30 pm. I am especially grateful because I didn't know how I was going to survive church starting in January when we switch to the 1:00 schedule. David wouldn't have been able to go to church at all with us and I didn't know how to do sacrament with all 5 kids and still nursing. Haylee will be leaving primary in December and Caleb will come in in January and I was really worried about how to balance my duties in the presidency with a new baby and a new sunbeam. Whew - I'm glad I won't be doing in on my own anymore!! However - referring to my showering story - don't know when I will fit in a shower with him gone by 5 am 5 days a week - anyone who knows me, knows I won't be getting up that early - even for a shower!!

Paisley Cate

We are so happy to have her finally here. She arrived on Monday, July 20 at 12:58 pm. She weighed 5lbs 14oz and measured 19 inches long.

We weren't planning on her coming until Tuesday, but my dr called at 7:15 Monday morning and thought we were coming in then. When I told him we were planning for the next day, he gave us the option of coming in on Monday anyway and I wasn't about to pass that up. We got to the hospital around 9:15 and my dr checked me [still at a 3 :( ] and broke my water around 10:30. I got my epidural (no, I didn't sign up for the pain, I was doing this as easily as possible - I learned that after trying to go without on the first two) at 11:15 and just sat back and let nature do it's thing. My nurse came in to check me a little after 12 and said I was at an 8 and she would if I felt like I needed to be checked again, to let her know. About 5 minutes later she was back and said she needed to check me again - surprise - I was ready. She called my dr and told him to run over (he was across the street at his office) I was ready to deliver. 3 contractions later she arrived - cord wrapped tightly around her neck, but tiny and perfect. We are especially thankful for our dr to monitor us both so closely, he said it was a good thing we got her out - her cord was really small (about the size of a plastic straw) and wasn't sure if she would have continued to thrive if she was left until the due date.

She is such a sweet baby and really doesn't cry. She has been sleeping at night for 3-4 hours at a time (thank goodness for that!!) and has taken to nursing like a champ. The kids all love her and want to hold her all the time. Caleb is only interested for a few minutes at a time, Luke is fascinated with her and Maddie and Haylee want to be her other moms. They have all been such great helpers - I hope it continues after David goes back to work tomorrow. I have been given strict instructions to not clean, cook or drive for at least 2 weeks - I might make it one, but it's great to have helpers who are capable of doing a lot.

Baby Update

I just got home from the Dr and we are set for Tuesday's induction. I have made enough progress that I don't have to report to the hospital until Tuesday am at 5 - I don't think I have ever had to be somewhere so early. I guess it's good that I haven't been able to sleep past 5 the last 4 days. Unless something happens before then, I will probably be posting information and pictures by Thursday or Friday. Wish me luck in a quick and painless labor and delivery.

Another Baby Update

So, I have been pretty much on bedrest for the last week - I had to get permission to attend my brother-in-law's viewing and funeral (still doesn't seem real and such a tragic loss). I had another non-stress test on Monday and things looked really good. Yesterday I had to have an ultrasound to measure amniotic fluid level and a bio-physical profile (they look for movement, breathing, heart rate, etc.). Today was a visit with the dr. Not making as much progress as I have in other pregnacies, but am making a little. Set for another NST on Monday, ultrasound and dr appt on Thursday and delivery on Tuesday (7/21). I can't believe that we are down to 12 days before we get to hold this little one in our arms. I thought that I was really prepared, but now I have to take care of all the last minute things - and doing it from bed is not very easy. It's a good thing I have a great husband who is willing to help so much (even though he says he's telling people I think I am the Queen of Sheba) - he has really stepped up and taken over where I can't. Thanks to everyone who has helped me out so far - even the long distance phone calls and chatting have really helped keep my spirits up. Wish me luck over the next 1 1/2 weeks to keep my sanity and to let the little things go.

Taking It Easy . . . per the DR

I just returned from my weekly Dr's appt and have some news. I have been doing weekly NST tests (I've actually have had 4 in the last week) and because of 2 results where baby was not reacting like they wanted I have been ordered to slow down. Therefore - not on bed rest, but resting as much as possible until baby gets here.

Good news - scheduled to be induced on 7/21 (unless I go on my own before then). I am also pretty much ready for baby - have all her clothes washed and put away, just waiting to be used (yeah!!).

Bad news - continued weekly NSTs, weekly ultrasounds and a 24-hour protein test that doesn't allow me to stray too far from home (starting tomorrow afternoon until Saturday afternoon) at which time I have to go to the hospital and have my blood drawn and turn in my "sample". (if you want more information on that - you'll have to call me - not something I want to share details about with everyone.)

He believes I am also at risk to develop pre-eclamsia and that's why all the tests and precautions. Hopefully the next 4 weeks will just fly by, but I am not holding my breath.

It's Maddie's Birthday!!

I can't believe how fast the last 7 years have gone. It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing our baby home from the hospital - she was so tiny (6 lbs 1 oz) - and here she is now - growing so big, so fast. She has always been such a girl - into babies and dress up. I think she should probably pursue an acting career because she can be so dramatic and animated. She is a good helper around the house (her favorite thing to help me with is the dishes - I hope she still wants to do them when she can do them by herself). She has been asking to have her ears pierced for the last two years, and David finally let her - she was so brave on Friday even though there was only one person to do it and had to sit through it twice. She has loved every minute of having earrings and has made sure her hair is pulled back so everyone will notice. We love her very much and can't imagine our family without her. Happy Birthday Madisyn!!

Can you guess what made this mark?

David was outside with the kids on Saturday and Caleb wanted to ride the scooter. He was doing really well for a minute, but took a tumble and did a cheek plant right on the side of the handle bar. It has left a nice round bruise with a semi-circle cut across the top. Luckily he is really tough and it hasn't bothered him at all, but I know it will be really pretty in a few days.

1st Grade Circus

Maddie was in the first grade circus earlier in May - she tried out in April for the girl ringmaster and got the part. She was really excited and had to memorize and introduce half of the acts. It is a really big deal in Granstville and has been going on for about 30 years. She did really well and we are really proud of her for getting up in front of the large crowds three different times and doing a so great! We were lucky to have a friend who had the perfect costume and let us borrow it - I couldn't have planned for a better one.

Maddie with some of her friends

Boys will be boys?!?

Last night when I went to check on the boys before going to bed, I discovered Caleb asleep at the foot of his bed, on top of the covers with the comforter pulled over him. When I went to move him, I found him COMPLETELY naked - boy was I shocked! I must have been a sight searching in the dark for his pjs, but I got him put back together and settled again for the night. I am happy to report that he wasn't naked when he got up this morning and hopefully this will be a one-time episode and not just the beginning.

Random Thoughts

I've done it again! I thought I would quickly design a background and post it and ended up spending all day tweaking it until I got it right. I think I did about 5 different versions until I was happy with how it turned out. Then I had to spend more time getting the header to coordinate and still ended up tweaking it this morning. You would think that I would learn and just be happy with the first one so it doesn't take up so much time, but I haven't yet. Maybe I am just trying to put off working on my Mother's Day talk. I spent the first few days of this week being really domestic (probably so I would feel better on Sunday about being a good mom) and the last couple of days finding stuff to do to avoid actually writing it down. I just hope it comes together in time. I really need to sit down and gather my thoughts and just get it written, but I will continue to stress over it for at least one more day. I did find a super quote ( I don't know who said it) that I think I need to post in my house so I can see it every day - maybe it will help me have a better attitude on the days that I need it.

"Sometimes, a stay-at-home mom can feel inadequate, overwhelmed, overworked, and under-appreciated. The one thing I finally realized, as I was doing other people's laundry, shopping for other people's things, and cooking for everyone else, is that there is One other person who spent all of His time serving others, and His life was the greatest and most important of all. Being a mother is the perfect way to become more like Him, and it's hard work. We're going to have days where we fail. We just have to get back up and smile, knowing that we truly claim the most noble profession of them all."

I had never really thought of motherhood in comparison to Christ's life, but it really will help me to keep things in perspective. Just a little note - Congratulations to all of my family who work at "Good Old" Hi-Mountain Drug for winning the Best of State - local burgers. I've known for years how great they are and crave them all the time, but it is nice to see some recognition from someone without family ties to the store enjoy them just as much as I have. Also a thanks to each of you for always being willing to cook up some goodness for me and my family - it's always great!!

SPRING (SUMMER?) FUN!!

With temperatures hovering around 80 the last two days, the kids have been itching to get out and enjoy some water fun. We got the hose hooked up and set up under the trampoline and snapped a few pictures. I figured we had better take advantage of the great weather since it is supposed to rain later this week and only be about 60 this weekend. If it gets any hotter you might find me outside in the water with them, too (trying to stay cool and unswollen) - it would not be a pretty sight!!

Being Creative

Gennifer (my sister) has talked me into doing the weekly digital challenges on twopeasinabucket. I have a really hard time tapping into my creative side when I am surrounded by people who seem to pump these things out so easily, but she convinced me with the argument that I would learn lots of new skills in PhotoShop. I told her that I was going to post that this was my "sad attempt" - but she wouldn't let me and they turned out better that I had anticipated. The family tree photo is one that she took, but I found this saying and thought this picture was the perfect one to go with it. She had already used it in another challenge, but let me use it too. Then she went ahead and posted a discussion about how she had an internet stalker who was stealing her photos (but only for a second) and then admitted that I was her sister.

I'm being domestic

I'm not sure if this is part of my "nesting" stage, but I have been motivated to being more domestic and I guess, more of what I think a stay-at-home mom should be doing. So here is my latest attempt at being domestic - homemade french bread.

This was a very interesting undertaking, as I don't even remember seeing anyone make french bread before (mom has always made it, but I don't remember watching how it was done). Needless to say, I spent a lot of time on the phone with her, asking questions - it's a good thing it was her day off. I'm still not sure if I got it exactly right - it looks and tastes good, and made great garlic bread to go with spaghetti - but I know that making bread is a true art I hope to perfect.

Hide and Seek

Thursday night while I was fixing dinner Maddie, Luke and Caleb decided to play hide and seek. They had tons of fun finding new hiding places in the house and taking turns being "it". I thought it was so cute when it was Caleb's turn - being only two, I think it's great that he actually gets the concept of the game, but he would stand facing the front door, hide his eyes and then start counting - one, four, seven ... I find you, ready or not! Of course, they were never ready and he'd have to do it all over again, but he willing did and loved every minute of it!

Two Pics and a Video

It's A.....

GIRL!! Time to break out all the cute dresses and bows. I am really excited to get into all the frilly and dainty girl stuff again. Lucas has been insistent that this was a boy, but the girls have really been hoping for a girl. We are right on track with measurements and everything looks really good. Baby was super active - it amazes me every time. Now I just have to settle on a name and spelling.

Analyze This

So, I know pregnancy dreams can be a little strange at times - sometimes downright disturbing, but the dream I had last night was a new one for me. I don't know where it came from, but it has been bothering me all day - trying to analyze the deeper meaning. I dreamt that I was locked away in an institution of some kind - my whole family was - I don't know exactly where they were, but I knew they were in the same situation as me. Somehow I had found a way out, under the porch, through a gate and out to the real world. While I was exploring, I ran into Madisyn and made a plan with her to escape that night. There were about 5-6 men who were supposed to guard me, and none of them would listen to me claim that I wasn't insane and was actually very normal. I don't know if they were just ignoring me, or if they really couldn't understand me (like I was speaking a different language). David's dad even came to check on me, and I kept insisting that he tell them I was okay, that I had was very normal and to tell them about my home life. He just kept looking at me, very sympathetically, and shrugging his shoulders, never really saying anything. This is all I remember - anyone want to take a guess at what this might mean? Maybe it has something to do with my last post and feeling like my life is out of control? I could really use some insight on this one.

My "Perfect" Life

I like to pretend that I have everything under control and that my life is smooth and perfect, but after a day like yesterday, reality gives me a big slap in the face and I realize that I have a long ways to go and my life is more insanity than perfection. It didn't start out so bad - got the girls of to school relatively smoothly, the boys were dressed before 10, got some laundry sorted and started washing, dishes done, sharing time planned and I even had time to give David a haircut. We also spent some time just hanging out and playing some video games with the boys before he headed off to work. The chaos broke out just as I was in the middle of cooking dinner. I thought I would be really organized and make a great home-cooked meal that was one of my favorites growing up - sweet and sour pork (not the red sauce kind, but a soy sauce and vinegar based). It is relatively easy to make, and can be done in about an hour, but tastes like it took a long time to put together. I had dropped Maddie off at her cousin's house, Luke, Caleb and Haylee were playing outside. I made a quick run to the store and picked Maddie up and when I had gotten home Caleb had fallen asleep. Of course, when Caleb woke up, he wasn't in the best of moods and wanted me to hold him, but I needed to get dinner done. So, amid his crying, I'm trying to cook rice, thicken my sauce, and set the table. Dinner went okay, but Caleb thought he needed to sit on my lap through the whole thing - the problem is that I have been having sciatic problems for a month now and can't sit at the table to eat - if I have a soft surface I can sometimes tolerate it, but for the most part I have to stand or be lying down to get any relief from the pain. Needless to say I have been standing at the dinner table (I know, not a very good example of table manners for my kids - especially when I keep telling them to sit down and eat, but you do what you have to do.) Trying to get dinner cleaned up was a total disaster. Caleb was so tired from not getting a long enough nap and was ready for bed, and I was trying to get all the food put away, dishes done, and getting pajamas on everyone. Haylee really helped by getting Caleb's on, but then I spent the next 15 minutes tripping over his clothes, shoes, lotion, etc because he was only content to be in the kitchen with me. Finally getting everything done, while stepping over a crying Caleb, I was relieved to see that it was almost 8 and time to send everyone to bed. I took Caleb and Lucas into their room to put on a movie and had to lay on the floor (on one of those fold out couches) with Caleb (again, not very comfortable being pregnant, especially with my pain.) He was so tired he didn't know what he wanted and it took me about 15 minutes to get him calmed down enough to watch the movie. The girls were great to go downstairs and read until I could get down to tuck them in. Caleb finally fell asleep and I slowly picked myself up off the floor and kissed Lucas good night. He said, "I thought you were going to lay with me too." I told him I would come back and lay with him as soon as I got the girls tucked in. He reminded me that I had said I would do the same thing the night before, but I hadn't come back (guilt!). What he didn't know is that I had come in, but he had already fallen asleep, but I would be back again tonight - what you don't know is that Luke is totally a daddy's boy and I rarely get cuddle time with him, so for him to want to snuggle with me is a real treat. I got the girls tucked in, put my pjs on and went to lay with Luke - and he was asleep again. I felt so sad (guilt, again!!) that I had missed my opportunity (again!). I really need to learn to find the balance between getting my stuff done around the house and spending that precious one-on-one time that will be rarer as my kids grow. It seems I either spend lots of time with the kids and the house goes to pot, or the house looks good and I feel like I have neglected my mother time. I know that there is nothing more important than the time and bonding that I share with my children, especially as they grow and develop their own interests and spend more time away from me. I only hope the I have done my best and fostered our relationships where they really count and my kids will know that they are my priority and I will always do whatever I can to help them.

Just Because

I was uploading pictures from my camera and found some cute ones the kids had taken of each other recently. I'm glad they are at least on the ball when it comes to taking pictures.

Maddie

Luke and Caleb

Haylee

How Time Flies

It's hard to believe that January is almost over - it seems like we were just getting ready for Christmas and here we are already more than a month later. I can't believe how much quicker time seems to go than when I was younger. I know everyone remembers how it seemed FOREVER until Christmas or your birthday came around again, but now it seems like you just recover and it's time to start all over again. This past Sunday Haylee and I attended her first YW program - I know, I know - she doesn't turn 12 until December, but they included everyone who would be coming in this year. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was getting ready to leave primary behind and join the ranks of a teenager and here I am 20+ years later preparing her. What a great time I had during those years, so many memories and good friends - and so many mistakes. I don't want to watch my kids suffer, but how can I not wish for them to learn and grow as I did from the experiences they have in the next 10-15 years? I also watch others around me who are already experiencing the ups and downs of teenagers and try not to do what I did before I had kids. Come on now, I know a lot of you did it too - "My kids will never . . . ." and "If my child did that I would . . . ." - I learned really fast that kids will do pretty much whatever they want and you learn to be more tolerable of your own than you ever were of others. I guess my point to this whole thing is to remind myself that I need to enjoy each moment and stage that we experience as a family, because all too soon, it will be over and I will be longing for the days when my kids were all home and fighting over who got to sit next to mom.

Memories

In November the girls and I went to "Into The Woods" at the Hale Center Theater with some of my family. I had never seen it before and didn't know that much about it, but I haven't been dissapointed with a play yet, so I thought it would be fun and the girls would like it. It was a lot of fun and really great for a "girls night out". Madisyn still talks about it - the reason I am writing about it now is she was just telling her cousin how good and funny it was and that she needed to go see it. Thanks Gennifer for planning and inviting us and helping us make memories together!

Happy Birthday!!

I remember the first week I went to church after Lucas was born - it was a missionary farewell, (and Luke being my first son) my thought was "This will be him in nineteen years." Of course, my hormones were not normal yet, and I became emotional. Well, here we are - 4 years later and 15 years closer to that day - how the time has flown! Luke brings such joy, wonder and amazement into our home. After having two girls, it's amazing how much a boy changes things (and he is PURE boy!). He loves anything superhero, playing the PS2, wrestling and tackling anything he can get a hold of (usually Caleb - at his protest) and being outdoors. He is definitely a daddy's boy, which is great for all the messy and gross things, but mom will do in a pinch. He has a really great sense of humor, takes our teasing well and dishes it right back. His birthday dinner request was my homemade mac & cheese and edemame - he had 3 helpings of each. We love him very much and can't imagine what our lives would be like without him. Happy Birthday Luke!